The Bad Idea Faries' Tribute
by Achariyth1
Summary: Creativity is a constant struggle between the muses with their ideas of gold and the bad idea fairies, who earn their name. Sometimes the fairies win. These are the stories I had to write so I could get back to write what I want to.


**The Bad Idea Faries' Tribute**

Creativity is a constant struggle between the muses with their ideas of gold and the bad idea fairies, who earn their name. Sometimes the fairies win. These are the stories I had to write so I could get back to write what I want to.

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**Double-O-Nineball**

**A Touhou Project Fanfic by Achariyth**

Inside a blur of red and white, Kagerou Imaizumi rushed out of the moonlight and into her house. Shivering, as her wolf form faded away, she pawed at the gaslight switch and staggered into her boudoir. The door slammed behind her.

The werewolf, now completely human in her ruined ball gown, stared into the mirror, panting as her racing heart calmed and her breath fogged up the glass. Ripping a towel from a nearby rock, Kagerou reached out to wipe the mirror clean.

"The Princess doesn't mind if you're friends with humans. She just wishes that you wouldn't sell out your youkai sisters to them."

Kagerou spun around, baring her teeth and red claw nails. No one was behind her.

Three photos fell like feathers onto the floor. Kagerou knelt down and scooped them up. Each showed the renegade Seija Kijin running from a trio of women; the all-too-human Mokou of the Fujiwara Clan, Keine Kamishirasawa, the defender of the Human Village, and a familiar werewolf in a white and red dress. Seija, and the record reward for her capture, had escaped, despite all the impossible spell cards Kagerou had thrown her way. She had thought that the Youkai Network would have understood, as they had placed the bounty on Seija in the first place.

"I'm up here, silly."

Kagerou looked skyward. A fairy in blue floated against the ceiling, buoyed by ice crystal wings. The werewolf covered her heart and let loose the breath she had held.

"Cirno, if Wakasagihime actually cared, she would have sent a shrinemaiden." Laughing, Kagerou turned her back to the fairy and walked to the door.

The doorknob was frozen solid.

Kagerou closed her eyes and shook her head. So Wakasagihime hadn't forgiven her for trying to take a nip from the mermaid's tail. But even the lake princess knew better than to use the Youkai Network to settle grudges. That's what spell cards and face-to-face duels were for.

Cirno perched on the bathroom counter. "Why send a shrinemaiden when you have me?"

The werewolf threw back her head and howled with incredulous glee. "You? Because you haven't beaten anyone. And, no, playing with your fairy friends and Alice's dolls doesn't count."

Cirno crossed her arms across her chest and pouted. "I beat Marisa, and she beat you." An edge of a spell card peaked out from between her fingers.

"She let you win." Kagerou inched towards her closet. There might be a spell card in her spare gown…

"Aya's pictures prove otherwise." Behind Cirno, growing webs of frost crisscrossed and thickened on the mirror.

Leaning against the walk-in closet's doorjamb, Kagerou groped through the hanging clothes with her hidden hand. "Did you even read her article?"

"I can read." The chill in the air grew sharper as Cirno slid down from the counter. "Aya got her facts wrong. Again."

Kagerou shook her head as her fingers hooked into a pocket. Was this the best Wakasagihime could do? She should have come herself, but ever since Suwako Moriya marathoned those Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang spy movies at her shrine for all to see, every girl acted like she was either a spy or a spymaster. Not that Kagerou was willing to complain. While everyone else played their silly games, her social calendar had filled up. No one else in Gensokyo dressed like she belonged on Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang's arm.

She dragged a card out of the pocket. "Go back to Misty Lake." Kagerou threw the spell card at Cirno. It sailed over the fairy's head. Instead of vanishing in a spray of brilliant danmaku, it bounced off of the mirror. The werewolf bowed her head and grimaced.

Cirno picked up the playing card from the counter and held up the Queen of Clubs in front of her lips like a fan. "I found where you keep your spell cards."

The werewolf hid herself behind the doorframe. "You had help, didn't you?"

"Of course she did, dear," a quiet voice whispered into Kagerou's ear.

The werewolf froze and searched for a silhouette out of the corner of her eye. For instant, she saw a flash of a silvery fin.

"You'd be surprised what a fairy can do if you tell her it's a game." Wakasagihime pressed a spell card against Kagerou's spine with the flat of her hand. "And since Cirno's also a youkai, involving her doesn't break the Youkai Network's rules."

"But you were chasing Seija too," Kagerou whimpered.

"You involved the humans in a youkai affair, not me."

"Seija was too tricky. I needed the help-" With a flash of light and a spray of blocky icons, Kagerou slumped over into Wakasagihime's arms. Aided by a touch of magic, the mermaid swam through the air, dragging the dazed werewolf to her bed.

Overhead, the ice fairy flittered spirals around the room, trailing a thin dusting of snow behind her. "That was a fun game. Do you think it would work on Reimu?"

"I'd suggest that you don't try to find out. I'd hate to be her next incident again." As she rested Kagerou's head against a pillow, Wakasagihime called over her shoulder, "Cirno, would you be a dear and brew up some tea for when Kagerou wakes?"

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**Author's notes:**

Memo to self: Don't try to write Touhou while watching James Bond movies.


End file.
